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Date: 15 Dec 2006 09:50:29
From: Steve Kishner
Subject: OT Word Fun
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Here is the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational which once again asked
readers
to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting,
or changing one letter,
and supply a new definition.
Here are the winners:
Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject
financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you
realize it was your money to start with.
Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright
ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little
sign of breaking down in the near future.
Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of
getting laid.
Giraffeti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person
who doesn't get it.
Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really
bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a
serious bummer.
Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day
consuming only things that are good for you.
Glibido: All talk and no action.
Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they
come at you rapidly.
Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've
accidentally walked through a spider web.
Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your
bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
Caterpallor (n.): The colour you turn after finding half a worm in the
fruit you're eating.
The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its
yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate
meanings for common words. And the winners are:
coffee, n. the person upon whom one coughs.
flabbergasted, adj. appalled by discovering how much weight one has
gained.
abdicate, v. to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
esplanade, v. to attempt an explanation while drunk.
willy-nilly, adj. impotent.
negligent, adj. absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a
nightgown.
lymph, v. to walk with a lisp.
gargoyle, n. olive-flavored mouthwash.
flatulence, n. emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run
over by a steamroller.
balderdash, n. a rapidly receding hairline.
testicle, n. a humorous question on an exam.
rectitude, n. the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
pokemon, n. a Rastafarian proctologist.
oyster, n. a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
Frisbeetarianism, n. the belief that, after death, the soul flies up
onto the roof and gets stuck there.
circumvent, n. an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish
men.
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Date: 15 Dec 2006 10:37:21
From: Backslider23
Subject: Re: OT Word Fun
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On Dec 15 2006 12:50 PM, Steve Kishner wrote:
> Here is the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational which once again asked
> readers
> to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting,
> or changing one letter,
> and supply a new definition.
While some of them are amusing, I really doubt this has anything to do
with the Washington Post. Or Mensa. A fair number of the "submissions"
don't even follow the fake rules laid out in the quoted bit above.
Backslider
---
RecGroups : the community-oriented newsreader : www.recgroups.com
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Date: 15 Dec 2006 13:52:11
From: Steve Kishner
Subject: Re: OT Word Fun
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"Backslider23" <fishrfun@yahoo.com > wrote in message
news:1k6b54x8kk.ln2@recgroups.com...
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Date: 15 Dec 2006 14:38:01
From: Mark B \(Diputsur\)
Subject: Re: OT Word Fun
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"Backslider23" <fishrfun@yahoo.com > wrote in message
news:1k6b54x8kk.ln2@recgroups.com...
> On Dec 15 2006 12:50 PM, Steve Kishner wrote:
>
>> Here is the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational which once again asked
>> readers
>> to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting,
>> or changing one letter,
>> and supply a new definition.
>
> While some of them are amusing, I really doubt this has anything to do
> with the Washington Post. Or Mensa. A fair number of the "submissions"
> don't even follow the fake rules laid out in the quoted bit above.
>
Having a father who was a member of Mensa and Intertel, I recall
reading mensa newsletters when I was younger that contained
that challenges... they were doing it as far back in the late 80's.
Mark
--
www.myspace.com/diputsur
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Date: 15 Dec 2006 14:48:50
From: Mark B \(Diputsur\)
Subject: Re: OT Word Fun
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"Mark B (Diputsur)" <diputsur@gmail.com > wrote in message
news:4582f828$0$27428$25e83c3@news.inteliport.com...
> "Backslider23" <fishrfun@yahoo.com> wrote in message
> news:1k6b54x8kk.ln2@recgroups.com...
>> On Dec 15 2006 12:50 PM, Steve Kishner wrote:
>>
>>> Here is the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational which once again asked
>>> readers
>>> to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting,
>>> or changing one letter,
>>> and supply a new definition.
>>
>> While some of them are amusing, I really doubt this has anything to do
>> with the Washington Post. Or Mensa. A fair number of the "submissions"
>> don't even follow the fake rules laid out in the quoted bit above.
>>
>
> Having a father who was a member of Mensa and Intertel, I recall
> reading mensa newsletters when I was younger that contained
> that challenges... they were doing it as far back in the late 80's.
Those challenges too! I need to start re-reading my posts after
making modifications to my sentences *before* posting them.
Guess this apple didn't fall close enough to the tree. ;-)
> Mark
> --
> www.myspace.com/diputsur
>
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